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Location: Courtice, Ontario, Canada

Friday, May 06, 2005

Larry King Award Winner Week of April 25th - Alonzo Mourning

Well this week the trophy goes to one of the biggest morons of the basketball world, otherwise known as the smartest athletes professional association. The biggest moron of them all seems to be Alonzo Mourning who said this week that he sacrificed everything for his chance to play with the Miami Heat and get into the playoffs and contribute. Well I suggest sacrifice is a pretty strong statement, and let's look at the ungodly sacrifice this asshole has made.

1. Signs a 3 year deal with the New Jersey Nets, not the Miami Heat, for a ton of money 2 years ago. Plays like a chump. But wants to be on a contender. Of course with his medical situation (which I will delve into later) his contract is uninsurable. New Jersey GM makes a big mistake.

2. In his first ultimate sacrifice he demands a trade back to the Heat because he is unhappy with direction of Nets. Of course this had nothing to do with his lousy play or lengthy absence. I mean this is the Basketball god known as ZO right. How could he play for this terrrible team, he has standards you know.

3. New Jersey try to buy him out. He refuses because in Zo's world sacrifice doesn't mean I don't get paid.

4. Gets traded to Raptors, refuses to shows up, comes up with the I am sick line. Meanwhile attending Heat games, and jumping up cheering for the club, but oh let's not forget the reason he isn't playing for Raptors is he is sick, therefore Raptors still have to pay him. If he refused to play no Money. Again sacrifice doesn't mean I don't get paid, right asshole.

5. Rob Babcock in a moment of David Koresh lunacy buys out The "Whole High and Mighty Sacrificer" Alonzo Mourning for 10 million. Meaning Alonzo doesn't play a second in Toronto and gets 10 million. Ladies and gentlemen if this is not sacrifice I don't know what is.

6. Signs with Heat professes he made an extreme sacrifice (10million, plus lying he is sick).

Well Zo we should just put the crown of thorns on you because aren't you just the J.C (Jesus Christ) of the NBA. The ultimate sacrifice of lying, cheating and taking money. Your a goddamn disgrace. Although if you meant sacrifice as giving up your dignity and manhood I could see that.

So what does the NBA do with this guy. They market him as someone people should look up to because he is a warrior for overcoming kidney problems. Well it's no wonder Kids are screwed up these days using these aholes as role models. Plus Alonzo how did your kidneys go wacko on you. I am guessing it was that Wheaties and milk you had for breakfast right? There is no possible way it was because your were on roids and taking painkillers like they were going out of style?

So Zo why don't you lay back pop a couple of pills, take some roids, and hopefully have another kidney failure, and while your at it Here's a trophy for you, the Larry King, because if there is any justice in the world, you should not win the NBA trophy. Peace out Alonzo "Jesus" Mourning.


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