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Location: Courtice, Ontario, Canada

Monday, February 20, 2006

Operation Slapshot and Steve Simmons

This morning I got a call requesting that I write a blog soon, as they were anxiously waiting for me to spill my garbage. I am impressed I actually have a fan…WooHoo.

After watching the Canadian Olympic Men’s Hockey Team over the weekend lose 2-0 to both Finland and Switzerland, and the media coverage of “Operation Slapshot” I felt I needed to comment.

Firstly when I first heard of “Operation Slapshot” I mistakenly took it for the immediate arrest of the people responsible for making a sequel and ruining the name of the greatest hockey movie ever…”Slapshot”. Some moron thought it would be good to make a sequel to Slapshot and on top of that cast a complete idiot like Stephen Baldwin, you know the Baldwin with no talent and now is a preacher or something. I was pleased to think that the producers of that movie were about to be served arrest warrants in the state of New Jersey. However I was wrong, it was about a gambling ring which it is alleged involved Phoenix Coyotes assistant coach Rick Tocchet.

After my disappointment that this operation was not about the immediate hanging of anyone involved in Slapshot 2, I immediately set an over under of 4 hours before someone would tie Wayne Gretzky to it. Sure enough in a “leak” it was reported that Janet Gretzky had placed bets in this ring, and off you go. Firstly my opinion is if no betting occurred on hockey, who the hell cares. The only reason the government is pissed is because they didn’t get any of the money. Our provincial government has all these ads that gambling is bad, and yet they run Proline. It’s all very hypocritical. And I will ask how many people are in a pool at work? So what some people bet on sports, as long as they bet on sports games where they don’t have a direct link to the outcome of the game I fail to see the atrocity of this. Well apparently the Canadian media cares!
You know the media is coming down hard on the Great One. I listen and read the Stephen Brunt’s, Bob McCowan’s, and Damien Cox’s of the world give there opinions. I find it funny considering Wayne might not have any involvement at all, but don’t tell that to the know it all’s in the sports media, especially a Toronto Sun columnist Steve Simmons, who I will focus most of my rant on. Keep in mind I will not pass judgment on Wayne Gretzky yet good or bad. You want to know why? I haven’t heard the facts yet. This isn’t like OJ who massacred 2 people with his blood all over them.

Let me first say that I have enjoyed a Simmons column once in a while. But when he started writing about the fact that Gretzky should not go to the Olympics because he would be a distraction I laughed out loud. First Steve’s most athletic feat of all time was the time he climbed a set of stairs without passing out. So now Steve Simmons should be the conscience of Wayne Gretzky? Wow! Congratulations Steve. Who knew that a writer for the Sun would be telling Wayne Gretzky what he should and should not do? I never knew that Steve was so well connected with the Olympic Men’s hockey team that he was an advisor on the staff to pass of such important information. Let me help you Steve you are a writer for the Toronto Sun, not the all mighty of everything moral. You shouldn’t pass judgment on someone when the facts are not known yet. Wayne Gretzky gets to make the decision whether he goes to the Olympics, Not you! You say it is a distraction to the team, How the hell do you know that? If the team loses is it because Wayne showed up? So laughable. I can’t wait to read your article if they lose. I also read your piece where some cross country skier got a bronze and that was overshadowed by Wayne showing up in Turin. Here’s a hint you piece of crap, No one other then the parents of the athlete care what happened in the Cross Country event. Even if Wayne didn’t show up no one would care!!!! It’s like the girl who won silver in the trampoline, what next a medal for the culinary arts? Now what happens if it is shown that Wayne had nothing to do with the ring, well let me delve into my crystal ball it looks a little like this…..Byline in 2008 …Your famous line……and whatever became of Steve Simmons.

As for the hockey team they have played horrible so far. I can’t understand why big wingers and centres like Iginla, Lecavalier, Nash, Bertuzzi, and Thornton always play on the outside. They never drive the net with the puck. It’s always a wrist shot from 40 feet. If I see Iginla miss the net with a wrist shot from the boards on a 1 on 1 I am going to blow my stack. Everything on this team is played on the perimeter and I can’t understand why. I am quickly seeing why Joe Thornton was moved out of Boston. He plays on the outside all the time. I am thinking if I am a forward facing down the mean bad ass Aki Berg, I might try to beat him to net with speed, trust me if you watch the Leafs it doesn’t take much speed, also conversely if I am going against a small fast defenseman like Kimmo Timmonen or any of the non NHL Swiss defenders, I might try to physically take it to the net, hell I will get a closer chance to score or I might draw a penalty. So far the Canadian forwards have played on the perimeter and that’s the main issue on why they can’t score. Most goalies can stop the 40 ft wrist shot Jarome. As for the Defence someone should explain to Chris Pronger what a cross check is because I saw him do 3 very nice crosschecks and he looked absolutely shocked when the ref called a penalty on him. I know you usually learn that at age 5 but Pronger really looks like he missed that class. And when Wade Redden and Vincent Lecavalier are in the corner with an unknown Swiss forward battling for the puck, and the unknown Swiss forward comes out with the puck someone should ask the 2 Canadian players if they have heard of the term “Work Ethic”? Also Rick Nash please stop running into goalies, I know I like the drive to the net part but you should probably put on the brakes before you reach the opposing teams goaltender, just a suggestion. Todd Bertuzzi when you are on the powerplay and lose the puck please do not cattle wrestle the opposing player by pulling his shirt, Kind of dumb don’t you think?

Anyways I am not saying the Canadian team is done however there play so far has been embarrassing and contrary to the idiot pundits out there, it has nothing to do with Wayne Gretzky’s wife placing a bet on the Superbowl.

Notes: Howard Berger of the Fan 590 is really starting to piss me off with his blogs on www.hockeybuzz.com. I might agree fans go too far with the all mighty doom and gloom and there are some morons out there; however trying to reduce Canadian fans as idiots doesn’t make much sense to me considering he would not exist without the Canadian fan’s hockey passion.

PS. For my one fan; I might actually do another rant this week on raising taxes on smoking. Until then…..

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yet another great rant Bill, I was anxiously awaiting a new one...one thing you need to change though...you have two fans :p

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been satisfied....by yet another one of your stupendous rants.

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